Why Conflict Arises
Wherever two or more people share a common space, a common goal, or even a simple coexistence — the possibility of conflict exists. But conflict does not arise from mere difference. It arises the moment one party chooses to live at the expense of others.
The Root: One Party Chooses "Only Live"
Taking a cue from the wisdom in Life Options (Capsule 8), every person operates from one of three positions: Only Live, Only Let Live, or Live and Let Live. Conflict is a natural consequence when at least one party in any group operates from "Only Live" — when their way of functioning demands that others submit, suffer, or simply cease to exist as they are.
This party is the offender. Not because they are loud, but because they are the source of imbalance.
Why Some Conflicts Stay Invisible
If every other party in the group chooses "Only Let Live" — silently accepting the imbalance, enduring without resistance — then the conflict will not be visible to anyone. All are suffering, yet no one speaks. The surface appears calm while the root cause grows stronger beneath it.
Conflict becomes visible only when at least one non-offending party refuses to remain a silent victim and stands up to resist the offender. This is a crucial point of wisdom:
The first party to raise its voice is not necessarily the offender. It could well be the defender — the one who finally chose to stop suffering in silence.
This distinction matters deeply. Societies, families, and groups often make the grave mistake of blaming the one who breaks the silence, when in truth that person may be the first to show the courage of resistance.
Why Conflict Cannot Always Be Resolved
Conflict can never be resolved if all parties are not willing to resolve it. When one side refuses any compromise — when the intent is not coexistence but domination — resolution becomes impossible through dialogue alone. This is why enemy awareness (Shatrubodh) remains essential: not every conflict is a misunderstanding. Some are the result of a fundamental unwillingness to let others live in peace.
How Conflict Disappears from Public View
Conflict visibility to the outside world can be suppressed in only three ways:
- The non-offending parties accept their role as victims and continue to suffer in silence.
- The offending party is stopped, removed, or neutralised.
- The non-offending party is eliminated entirely — overrun, absorbed, or erased.
Only the second path leads to genuine resolution. The first delays the inevitable. The third is the gravest injustice.
The Prime Focus: Avoiding Conflict
No matter what a person does in life — in any role, in any setting — the process of avoiding conflict should be a continuous, living part of their awareness. It requires an inclusive mindset, deep curiosity about the motives of others, and clear observation of changing dynamics. It is not a one-time decision or a rule to follow. It is an integral part of consciousness itself: the constant, quiet effort to live in a way that neither causes conflict nor silently enables it.
This is the apt balance that defines a person who truly lives as a human being. Not one who merely avoids trouble for comfort, but one who stays watchfully aware of the forces around them — choosing harmony with strength, not harmony through surrender.
A wise person does not wait for conflict to erupt and then react. A wise person shapes their daily actions, choices, and awareness in a way that makes conflict less likely to arise in the first place. That is the highest and most sensible form of peace.
Next time you witness or experience a disagreement — at home, at work, or in the wider world — pause before judging who is at fault. Ask yourself: "Who broke the silence — and why? Was it the person causing the imbalance, or the one who finally refused to suffer?" This single question, asked with quiet honesty, sharpens your own awareness and leads to far wiser, more balanced responses in every area of life.